As I said, you’ve never really been sailing until you’re hove to in the Bristol Channel main shipping lane at night in a Gale force 17 wind with no lights on because the drunken skipper sheltering below wants to conserve battery power and you’re alone on deck when a massive oil tanker rears out of nowhere and shines its spotlight on you and sounds an alarmingly loud horn … blah …blah … blah.

The fact is, if there’s so much as a tremor of wind when I’m afloat, I’m in the queue for being helicoptered out.