It’s come to my attention that a chap only needs two sets of clothes. One he wears, the other he washes. The washed clothes he hangs outside to dry. Bringing them inside to finish the drying process off, he suspends them from some handy horizontal slats outside the bathroom. Fresh from his morning shower on the day of changeover, he reaches upwards, slides off the sweet smelling, newly laundered articles, and slips into them. He then scoops up his collection of soiled, Billy-reeking linen and takes it out to his washing machine, where he adds his trusty Yongee Ball, and the cycle begins again.

Many suggest this should be a daily process, particularly for old goats. Personally, at this time of year, I recommend a twice weekly changeover.

Of course, this is for chaps who do their own washing. Chaps who don’t, and don’t send it out to reappear in sealed brown packets by special delivery, and don’t frequent their local laundrette, but find their folded linen appearing magically on their shelves on a regular basis, don’t know what they’re missing. For this, they remain eternally grateful.

As we say in Barnham, “Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.”