Highly charged and tense game last night. We all got thoroughly despondent after AC scored in the first minute and then followed it up with two more goals. The best we hoped for was a goal from liverpool to restore some pride.

Cue Gerard with an astonishing header which revitalised his team and spurred them on to some decisive play and getting them back to 3-3. Whereupon they reverted to defense and (only just) survived til penalties.

Prompted by Carragher, Dudek performed Grobbelar-style gyrations on the goalline and succeeded in saving 2 and causing 1 to be kicked over the bar.

El Crunch was ecstatic and most pleased.

Dodman, if any waterfights occur today, be sure to retrieve my grey gun and get them while their backs are turned!