I spent the morning with my shirt off bent double snapping the lower leaves from lots of tomato plants. What’s more, I enjoyed it.

Yesterday afternoon, we cycled to Climping to swim. Needless to say, just before we left, the buttock flasher arrived and lost no time in ‘presenting’ to all and sundry. I’m definitely in the market for one of these male thong thingies he is doing his utmost to popularise. I can’t understand why there isn’t a Tesco Basic model.

Another thing I can’t understand is why gaps between ‘paragraphs’ don’t appear on this blog even though they do when drafting entries.

While swimming at Climping this afternoon my attention was drawn towards what appeared to be a jet aircraft in the distance flying abnormally low. This turned out to be a South African Airways 747 coming straight at me at about 100ft, with no apparent engine power. I swam for the shore, gesticulating and shouting, and then scarpered up the beach to reach the safety of our small family group as the presumably stricken aircraft lurched past, heading for Barnham. We lost sight of it as it dipped below the treeline and I assumed it was about to crash land and waited for the fireball. Then, it reappeared, and circled around the area a few times, gaining a little height before losing it again. A bloke edged close to us and said the aircraft was only just above stall speed as it had come past. I started thinking ‘terrorists’, or maybe ‘jettisoning fuel’ before I remembered the Goodwood Fesitival of Speed. By this time, the 747 had begun to do some serious acrobatics. Sure enough, a quick google search on our return home showed up a load of blog entries telling the world about an ‘awesome’ display over Goodwood by a SAA ‘nutter’ pilot.

The other highlight at the beach was some ageing lothario – who I remember from last year, too – oiling about the place in an all over Kilroy Silk tan, wearing a hideous pouchlike, thong-backed affair through which he could flash his bronzed buttocks at all and sundry. When he wasn’t doing this, he was scrutinising other beach residents with his powerful binoculars, no doubt chortling at the ludicrous acreage of their swimsuits.

On account of Liv having scanked up the household internet I am unable to use my own face – had a day off work today (though day off is a joke – had to work saturday to earn it! and that was a pain in the neck) … running out of time, can”t waste any more … byeeee.

boot bells eh, hehehe.. hilarious!

i guess the must hang from the gaiters you’ll have to buy?

… I finish work and take a break before starting my PGCE. I’ve already started writing lists in preparation for my trip to Newfoundland. So far this includes my new trusty thermal mug and boot bells for scaring away the bears in a humane and entertaining fashion (a sort of Moris woman meets Haka type dance). It’s going to be very remote so I feel there is much background reading to be done in regards to survival techniques as my years as a Pixie in the Brownies were largely spent painting pebbles for paperweights. Good fun, but not particularly useful for fending off bears without creative vision.

You scored 58 childishness and 30 evilosity!
Sweet and tangy, you’re fun and a little bit naughty but you’re generally home by midnight and you’ve generally remembered to mask the smell of booze with a refreshing mint or somesuch.