Mmm… Jul why are you going round in circles through parts of India that you don’t like much and how did you not know that you have to go across the river to the best bit. I know that and I’ve never even been there – surely the Lonely Planet must have advised you?! Have you even enjoyed it India? You seem to have large amounts of loathing. Personally I’d happilly take the next plane out to India and remain there until a six month visa had expired.

I’m sitting on a computer when I should be skydiving. Such is the Kiwi weather that I am unable to jump as the cloud would probably electrocute me – at least I have a humungous steak in the fridge for my birthday dinner.

Will return in two weeks with an actual tan and a video of my epic 134m plunge