I was doing a rudimentary clearout of the shed yesterday and came across my venerable Compaq laptop. Clunky and leaden, with its small, innovative, abrasive central nodule for navigation, it cost, as I recall, well in excess of £1000.

As I recall, Billy Bunter anticipated his was going to be in the region of £5; so he spent more than half of that in advance, mostly on fizzy drinks and sticky buns; and he was therefore woefully out of pocket when his uncle’s letter finally arrived with a postal order for a mere £1, along with the admonition to ‘spend it wisely’!

You wouldn’t believe how much it’s been raining here. Thick cloud overhead, sodden underfoot. Joe and I are currently planting Kale in mud and covering it with shredded fleeces recovered from the ‘field’.

The way the pound is sliding against the yen, you might not be able to buy much with the Catholic windfall. A more prudent course of action could be to maximise yen earning potential at a time of sterling weakness, thereby replenishing the base currency coffers in fewer man hours.

As your financial advisor, I strongly suggest seeking the assistance of a man named Shane – or was it Wayne?

Liv on a run:

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A refreshing ‘duplo’ for those of us who like their coffee in two portions rather than the customary one.

Known amongst the cycling fraternity as a ‘Castelnaudery’, after these €1.20 thimblefuls had failed to hit the spot.