Year: 2010

Dawn chorus

Posted on by dodman

France captain Patrice Evra has already blamed the noise generated by the vuvuzelas, which has been likened to the drone of thousands of bees, for his side’s poor showing in their opening group game against Uruguay, which finished goalless.

He said: “We can’t sleep at night because of the vuvuzelas. People start playing them from 6am.”

It certainly didn’t affect England, though. They played as crappily, throughout, as they usually do, with wonderful displays of possession, most of which might as well have terminated in a back pass to the keeper – as they often did!

Last night as I made my weary way to bed…

Posted on by pinkie

Last night as I made my weary way to bed, I switched off the bedroom lights and crossed the bedroom floor. As I was walking across Liv’s side, I trod on numerous laptop cables and phone chargers and something cable-like which i didn’t quite recognise. As I lay in bed, I began puzzling (in my half sleep) about this weird cable. Something wasn’t right. After about 3 minutes, the curiosity got to me and I peered over the edge of the bed. There was indeed, an unidentifed object lying 30cms from my nose. I tentively reached across and turned on the lamp… I’d like to have said I remained calm… “Snake! Snake! There’s a freakin’ snake in the room!” I bellowed to Liv who was having a (previously) relaxing shower. I don’t know how I did it, but I made it to the bathroom only placing my feet on the carpet 3 times, locking the door, hurling a towel on the floor (to block the gap between the door and floor – quite resourceful of me I thought) and jumped on the loo seat. I refused to move until Liv, who I’m not sure believed me at first, picked up the stiff and definitely dead snake and put it in the kitchen bin. Apparently the dessicated snake had been chewed on, probably by Dolly who likened it to a cat version of billtong.

  1. dodman
    05/06/2010 at 9:21 pm

    I can understand you blocking the gap between door and floor with a towel; but locking yourself inside the bathroom suggests you must have thought the snake was a … shapeshifter?

    Was it a grass snake? Or maybe a slow worm. We’be seen quite a few this year. Hopefully, not an adder!

  2. carotte
    07/06/2010 at 1:43 pm

    Since Dod told me of the snake that came into their sitting room and cruised around, I’m always sneakily checking for one…. what a ghastly experience. In my case, I would have probably left the door open (but I applaud the toilet seat angle), otherwise, how do you know when to open the door? When is it safe????? I once saw minion scurrying across the lawn with a snake in her mouth – I leaped onto the bench and didn’t descend for quite some time – even when cat and snake had long gone on the other side of the house….

  3. decoy
    08/06/2010 at 10:00 pm

    For the record, it was a small slow worm.

  4. pinkie
    09/06/2010 at 1:19 pm

    It had snake like qualities I assure you

    1. slightly
      10/06/2010 at 12:10 am

      sounds pretty freaky and cool Hannah. As I’m about to sleep I’m sure it will infest my dreams