We went to Littlehampton to see a crowd of paddle boarders paddling around, which I found somewhat underwhelming. The sea was flat, and their main purpose appeared to be social networking, while punting themselves hither and thither. Desiring to know what else paddle boarders did, I found these videos:

In benign conditions

A little rougher

Rough!

Window piece

At the allotment

Bananas

Cycling

Natty shoes

I’m not sure the gap between banality and profundity in music lyrics is very wide. I haven’t heard ‘Life’; but I’ve listened to Brian Eno singing this, many times, and I find I fully concur with his sentiments.

Oh it’s just another day,
It’s just another day on Earth

Oh it’s just another day,
Just another day,
It’s just another day on Earth

Oh it’s just another day on Earth
It’s just another day on Earth

One day, we will put it all behind,
We’ll say, that was just another time,
We’ll say, that was just another day on Earth

We’ll say, that was just another time,
One day, we will put it all behind,
We’ll say, that was just another day on Earth

Just another day,
It’s just another day,
Oh it’s just another day on Earth

It’s just another day on Earth

You could try using the magical deodorant stone; or the spray version, if you have it.

Or, as recommended by cat piss experts worldwide: ” … mix in a spray bottle a solution of white vinegar and water about half and half and it will take away the cat urine smell. It works the best and the vinegar odour dissipates in a little while …”

Failing that, how about Hydrogen Peroxide: it cures all known ills.

At the Test, a commentator mentioned that Mick Jagger was in the crowd, looking “like a naan bread that’s been left in the sun for three days”.

This reminded me of an anecdote I’d heard. While attending a party one evening, the jazz singer George Melly was introduced to Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger. “I didn’t expect you to have so many wrinkles,” Melly remarked. “They’re not wrinkles,” Jagger declared. “They’re laughter lines.” “Really,” Melly replied. “Surely nothing could be that funny.”

On the bright side, you won’t have to drive in the heat of the day when everyone else in France is on the road because it’s a holiday.

I’m racking my brains to find a way around the drill not being quite long enough. If you can’t risk making the holes in the sheet when it is away from Bertha, maybe the only solution is to buy or borrow a longer drill bit. I’ll look out for one.